Noah

I went out to Big 5 to buy a new pair of shoes. I didn’t feel that I should pay sixty dollars, so I went with a pair that cost twenty-five dollars. I also bought two baseball scorebooks. I stopped at Trader Joe’s for some groceries. At Daiso, I bought a pair of shoelaces. At the record store, I bought “A Hard Day’s Night” on CD to replace my old copy from 1987. I put in four hours of work in my last shift for 2014. I watched “Noah” on DVD. I saw it several months ago in the movie theatre, and I thought that I might catch some details I missed the first time. I think I caught some moments with Anthony Hopkins that weren’t clear to me before. Russell Crowe is Noah, only this man is a terror to his family. He is what you might call a strict interpreter of God’s word. He made me think of those lessons from high school about people who interpreted the Constitution strictly and those who didn’t. Crowe’s performance brought to mind his character from “Gladiator.” For a Biblical figure, I did a lot of killing. Jennifer Connellly was his wife. She looked thin and unhealthy compared to her youthful appearance of the 1980s. She warns Noah that he will be hated if he kills the child who will be born. It wasn’t the most effective argument, because if Noah is intent on following the Creator’s word, he won’t care what anyone thinks of him, including his family. It seemed to me that Noah should have gone ahead and killed everyone. The evidence was that his family after the flood was going to preserve all the evil qualities of the human race. Emily Watson was out getting pregnant instead of looking for Noah’s son. His children were selfish pigs. His wife was allowing all of this to go on. She was right when she said she should be punished. Noah’s father interfered. He was a crazy old man looking for berries when disaster struck. One of the big disappointments was the appearance of the ark, which looked like one big rectangular crate or coffin. I don’t know anything about shipbuilding, but I did have to question whether the thing would stay afloat. I could see it holding all the birds and reptiles, but when the mammals came aboard, they looked so damn heavy that the ark should have broken. It was made of wood. I don’t see how they completed the ark, even with the help they got from the rock people, who reminded me of The Iron Giant. They looked ridiculous. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. They fought the desperate people attacking the ark in a scene that looked like it was from The Lord of the Rings. They exploded as they died, as if they were a part of a video game. I could hardly stand watching Emily Watson. Her relationship with Noah son had an incestuous aspect to it. When she cried, I couldn’t sympathize with her. She screamed and cried a lot. If I were Noah, I’d toss her off the ark just for that. I wondered what the ark smelled like after the animals came on board. According to this movie, the animals were asleep for those forty days and forty nights so they wouldn’t eat each other, and they would defecate or urinate. Noah was so crazed and nutty that I wouldn’t want to see him in control of the human race. What is God thinking, leaving important decisions up to him? The events of this movie reflect poorly on God. I would hate to think that we are all descendants of the people who are left alive at the end of this movie. If it were true that I came from Emily Watson, I’d kill myself. How did racial diversity come about? If Noah released the animals, how did they go back to where they came from, especially if they came from continents across the ocean? I supposed Noah didn’t have to take the animals that lived in the lakes and oceans. That seems unfair, though, because there were a lot more than two of each species living in the water. What about all the plant life all around the world? Did all the peach trees and orange trees get wiped out in the flood? Were the humans violating the conditions because more than two of them were on the ark? There was a lot of CGI in the movie, and I found that it looked quite fake when they were walking across the barren, black landscape. I just imagined what the ragged family looked like in front of a green screen. The part I liked, though, was the development of the forest. Life sprung out of desolation like it was a Star Trek movie. When the rain started, it made me think of the rain that came down around here two weeks before Christmas. I thought that after the forty days and forty nights of rain, California was still suffering drought conditions. The question at the end was whether Noah failed God. I would say of course that he did fail. He saved a whole lot of animals, but the bad guy boarded the ark and killed some animals. The ark was sorely lacking any kind of security features. It seemed that some dogs could have patrolled the ark. I didn’t see any Pomeranians or Dachshunds boarding the ark. What about the forms of life that are asexual? In those cases, does only one of them get on the ark? It seems that the female praying mantis would not deserve to be on the ark. What did they do with the ark after the flood? It was a wasteful, one-time use vessel. I found it hard to believe that all the scientific knowledge in the world came from descendants of this idiotic family. Nobody had much knowledge of math or physics or had much of a vocabulary. I noticed that they didn’t have any books on the ark. No wonder the people of today are so stupid. The vision of this story of Noah was too wild and wacky for me, but I did enjoy seeing the unexpected in it. After “The Last Temptation of Christ,” I wondered how Martin Scorsese would have filmed the story of Noah. I could imagine Robert De Niro as Noah, losing his temper at this family. I don’t know what part Joe Pesci would have played. I fell asleep and awoke just before midnight. I put my new calendar up on the wall and watched an episode of Dragnet before I went to bed.  Some of the people who died on January 1 include Hank Williams (1953), Maurice Chevalier (1972), Beulah Bondi (1981), Victor Buono (1982), Cesar Romero (1994), Townes Van Zandt (1997), Ray Walston (2001), and Tillie Olsen (2011).  Today is a birthday for Grandmaster Flash (57) and Frank Langella (77).  According to the Brandon Brooks Rewind radio segment for January 1, The Beatles failed an audition for Decca Records in 1962.  In 1985, VH1 began broadcasting with the Marvin Gaye rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.”  In 1993, the CBS television series “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” had its premiere.  In 2002, Eric Clapton married Melia McEnery.

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