Sharknado

I awoke early and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I watched the DVD of “Sharknado” before I went to work. The title would suggest a fusion of “Jaws” and “Twister,” and you do get something like that when you watch it. The names in the cast that I recognized were Tara Reid and John Heard. I think at one time John Heard did respectable movies. I saw him once in “Chilly Scenes of Winter.” After all these years, I couldn’t imagine him in a movie with sharks in the sky. There were three or four moments when I laughed out loud, but I think towards the end the whole story runs out of inspiration. I liked how the explanation for this hurricane hitting Los Angeles was global warming. It looked less money was spent for the CGI in this movie than was spent for the latest Hobbit movie. I was hesitant to say that their CGI was done on the cheap. It seemed that every shark in the Pacific Ocean was hanging out in the water off Los Angeles on this day. I had the feeling that John Heard wasn’t going to make it through this disaster. It would probably save some money to not have him around. I thought he was going to regret saving that dog. Some of the actors reminded me of other actors. The wife was something like Gloria Grahame. The daughter resembled Winona Ryder. The son looked like Patrick Swayze. I thought it would be a pain in the ass to do the filming with water and the rain. When you look around the city, though, people are driving around like it’s a normal day instead of the end of the world brought along by sharks. I don’t know if I was looking at things incorrectly, but it seemed that water was flooding places higher than the characters were. I thought that the hilarious scene in the movie took place in Beverly Hills. It seemed that the screenplay was inspired by the relentless shark in “Jaws.” The sharks in this movie are a threat everywhere. You have to think about the land shark of Saturday Night Live. In the attack scenes by the beach, it was funny how so many people ended up lying on their backs as the sharks went after them. I guess there were limitations to the staging of action because sharks could not stand up, and they didn’t have hands. The sharks were able to elevate above the water so high. They were better than the killer whales at Sea World. It was ridiculous that this family could think that they could be the ones of all the people in Los Angeles to put a stop a stop to this crisis. Everything that they needed was in one hardware store. How would you fly next to a tornado without any harm coming to you? You can’t analyze this movie for the things that didn’t make any sense, because the entire story wasn’t logical. They inserted explosions and chain saws at the end. The chain saws add something visually, but I don’t see how they’re a good protection from the sharks flying around. You don’t really fight sharks. They either bite you or fall on you, at least in this movie. They don’t growl or make any frightening animal noises. They all look alike. If this Sharknado thing was any kind of a phenomenon, I caught on to it very late, just hearing about it on the news recently. It seems that a lot of people gave the movie a low rating. It’s certainly not moviemaking at its best. I predict that this movie will have some staying power. You always hear about shark attacks in the media, even forty years after “Jaws.” You hear about storms and hurricanes all the time, too, so why don’t combine the two to get an idiotic mixture of ideas? The DVD had a special feature on the making of the film, but I didn’t bother to watch it. I read that Steve Guttenberg turned down a role, which was kind of shame, because he could have added something funny to the movie However, it’s been years since I’ve actually seen Guttenberg in anything, so I don’t know how much he’s declined since the Police Academy days. I couldn’t sit around thinking about this movie forever. I had to go out to work, which meant sitting through meetings. They gave away T-shirts to us, and we had a decent lunch of tamales. After about five hours, I began to feel quite tired, so I headed home. Over at the record store, I bought the fifth season of “NUMB3RS” on DVD, along with CDs of Mozart’s “Le Nozze di Figaro” and Rossini’s “Tancredi.” I read a book for about an hour. I kept thinking about how it was such a shame that winter break was coming to an end. I heard the news about the Oscar nominations. There are two Best Picture nominees that I haven’t seen yet. Some people are calling this the White Oscars. Perhaps “Selma” should have received more recognition, but there are other racial groups that get ignored every year. I fell asleep and awoke in the middle of a Banacek episode about stolen coins. It’s too bad that George Peppard didn’t do at least one more season of this series. I still like watching the ones that exist, even if these capers are rather outrageous. The Alfred Hitchcock program had Hugh O’Brian and Gena Rowlands. It was one of those stories about the past catching up to a person, a dead body to me disposed of, and a woman afraid of losing her husband. In the morning news, I haven’t been seeing Lawrence Karnow doing the weather reports. George Lucas appeared on CBS This Morning, but I didn’t want to stick around to hear him talk about Oscar nominations. Some of the people who died on January 16 include Carole Lombard (1942), Arturo Toscanini (1959), Ted Cassidy (1979), Bernard Lee (1981), Ron Carey (2007), Andrew Wyeth (2009), Russell Johnson (2014), and Dave Madden (2014). Today is a birthday for Debbie Allen (65), John Carpenter (67), and A.J. Foyt (80). According to the Brandon Brooks Rewind radio segment for January 16, the last episode of “Bonanza” was aired in 1973. In 1980, Paul McCartney was arrested in Tokyo for marijuana possession. In 1984, Paul McCartney was arrested in Barbados for marijuana possession. In 1996, authorities fired on Jimmy Buffett’s sea plane, mistaking it for a drug smuggler’s plane.

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