The Expendables

The rain didn’t start until after I reached the office. None of my students came to see me. I did make copies of an exam, and I looked over my income tax forms. I was getting some money back, but not a great amount. I went shopping for groceries in the rain, and I made my way home to watch a DVD of “The Expendables.” I thought it was a forgettable action movie that didn’t make much sense. Sylvester Stallone directed it. I thought the action was hard to follow and not photographed particularly well. It looked like Stallone the action star couldn’t run very fast. He certainly wasn’t what he was in the first “Rocky” movie. Some of the other stars were Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, and Mickey Rourke. Jet Li had difficulty with his English dialogue, and he was barely understandable. I wondered if he fired any guns in his other movies. Eric Roberts made me think back on what a promising actor he was in the 1980s. He sounded different in this movie. What happened to his Southern accent? He was the villain here, which seemed a real shame to me. Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke were in a movie together thirty years ago, “The Pope of Greenwich Village.” Mickey Rourke in this movie was a tattoo artist. I know that I would not trust Mickey Rourke with a needle. This isn’t a story that has any kind of notable women characters. Angelina Jolie would not be old enough for this group. We see other getting tortured or hit by men. They need to be saved. Stallone is the leader of some mercenaries, although I couldn’t see how they made any money at all. They certainly go about killing people without letting it bother them. I think that the only image I found impressive through the entire film was the plane. I wondering how the film company managed to get their hands on it. In fact, I wondered how they came up with the money to make this movie. It felt like it was “Rambo” slowed down by age and needing other men to help him out. The action was pretty ridiculous, and particularly that last shootout. At the rate everyone was firing their weapons, they should have run out of ammunition within thirty seconds. The people making this movie shelled out the money to use songs like “Keep On Chooglin’,” “Born on the Bayou,” and “The Boys Are Back in Town.” Eric Roberts’ last moments on the screen were rather ugly. The violence was too much. I thought back on those old movie that had a lot of stars making cameo appearances, like “Around the World in 80 Days” or “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.” I felt like we weren’t getting the top flight movie stars but getting a bargain package of day-old bread. We didn’t even get much of Bruce Willis or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Bruce had his good days in “Die Hard” and “Pulp Fiction.” Arnold was even the funny Arnold, although he tried to be. There wasn’t much pleasure in watching “The Expendables.” I thought it was hard to watch, with the hectic editing style and the dark settings. Did Stallone and his crew know anything about lighting? This was a thoroughly uninspiring movie. I don’t know how anyone could be motivated to make a sequel from this material. I took a nap. The constant rain made me feel that I wasn’t wasting my time with sleep. I watched the news and was interested in the Brian Williams story. How does someone in the national media think he can get away with false statements? I watched the NUMB3RS episode “Contenders.” Some martial arts was in there, along with Charlie’s poker playing. It looked like Megan was sitting down in every one of her scenes. I also watched the Partridge Family episode “Mom Drops Out.” It looked like Laurie did not eat the chicken or the scrambled eggs there were on her plate. I thought perhaps she really sang during the off-key rendition of ”Baby I Love Love I Love You.” She translated “notre mere” as “my mother.” It looked like Tracy had only one front tooth. I brought the Blu-ray disc of “The Spy Who Loved Me.” It looked very good in high definition. I found it hard to believe that Bond could control that car underwater so easily. It was really coldblooded how he could send destroy that helicopter with the woman inside it. How does an explosion like that not draw a crowd to investigate? The people at the beach acted like it was a normal afternoon. That electronic music on the soundtrack was irritating, and it seemed to come courtesy of Marvin Hamlisch. I liked the opening of the movie with Bond skiing off the cliff and opening a parachute. It was good to see that it was genuinely done, and not a composite shot of some sort. Bond did a maneuver of turning back and shooting while skiing. I miss the days when stunts were things that could actually be done. I didn’t see why Curt Jergens didn’t kill Bond immediately. Did he really need to hire the two scientists? That huge set was pretty impressive. Roger Moore looked like he still had some life left. He should have made “For Your Eyes Only” and then bowed out of the series. It seemed that the director sneaked a bit of nudity into the movie. It was dangerous for the bad guys to keep the crew of a submarine locked away. Did they intend to feed them? Carly Simon performed a theme song that was not so great, even though it was a big hit single. I liked hearing the twangy guitar and wish that I could hear it again. It seemed that the change of targets should have been suspicious to the crews of the submarines. These men didn’t think through what they were doing. Some of the people who died on February 7 include Walter Lang (1972), Matt Munro (1985), Bobby Troup (1999), Doug Henning (2000), and Dale Evans (2001). Today is a birthday for Chris Rock (50), James Spader (55), and Miguel Ferrer (60). According to the Brandon Brooks Rewind radio segment for February 7, The Beatles arrived at JFK International Airport in 1964. In 1969, George Harrison had his tonsils taken out at a London hospital. In 2005, Paul McCartney and the Eagles were at the Super Bowl in Jacksonville, Florida.

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