There’s Something About Mary

I checked the distance between my pupils and saw that it was 67 millimeters. I went over to Trader Joe’s and bought fig bars to go with my usual food. I thought about the weekend. If I could hit “Ant-Man” and “Trainwreck” in between the baseball games, I would. I watched “There’s Something About Mary” on Blu-ray. The high definition did make the movie look better, especially towards the end. I find it hard to believe that it has been seventeen years since this movie was released. The impact of the jokes fades as the years pass. I still found Matt Dillon funny, although he went too far with the teeth. I can’t really believe that Mary wasn’t more aware of what was going on. I almost believe that Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz were teenagers in 1985. The braces were very funny. I would have thought that there was another solution to the zipper problem. You cut take the pants apart. I wondered about the photos of Cameron that were on the wall. I liked Markie Post. The part with the rest stop was the most uncomfortable part of the movie. There were a couple of areas I wished the movie hadn’t gone towards. It was too bad the Ted’s fight with the dog wasn’t realistic. I had forgotten that Sarah Silverman was in this movie. Steve Young could not have been in this movie because he was a Mormon. I always wondered why Ted got the baseball that was autographed by Tony Conigliaro. Conigliaro was hit in the face by a pitch in 1967. He came back to hit 36 home runs in 1970. He had a heart attack in 1982, which really marked the end of his life, although he would die in 1990. I also thought about that hook that got stuck in Ted’s mouth. It seemed that he should have had some nasty injury from it. I thought that one of the funniest characters was Tucker. The first time I saw this movie, I saw through him in an instant. The line that has always been funny to me is Sarah Silverman saying “We’re all dicks.” There was also Warren yelling out, “He was masturbating!” One of my favorite Cameron Diaz movies is “Being John Malkovich.” Since “There’s Something About Mary,” I have seen three other Farrelly brothers movies, which are “Stuck on You,” “The Three Stooges,” and “Dumb and Dumber To.” The Farrelly brothers were both in their forties in 1998. It seemed that they were getting too old for this kind of foolishness. Looking over Matt Dillon’s credits, I thought that “Wild Things” and “Crash” were good movies, but I haven’t seen anything else that he has done. Before I did some reading about Ben Stiller, I didn’t know that he briefly went to UCLA, and that he is a Star Trek fan. I liked “Meet the Parents,” “Zoolander,” “Night at the Museum,” “Tropic Thunder,” and “Tower Heist.” The Farrelly brothers certainly hit their peak with “There’s Something About Mary.” Where can you go after you’ve made one of the funniest movies of all time? I can’t help being reminded of how badly Brett Favre read his line. He said that he was in town to play against the Dolphins, and that he would always be true to Mary. I thought the last bit with Jonathan Richman was a bit too much. The Farrelly brothers never knew when to stop. I looked through the Internet at lists of the greatest summer movies of all time. I would agree that “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “Jaws,” and “Star Wars” would all have to make it into the Top 10. “E.T.” and “The Empire Strikes Back” should be in there, too. I would give consideration to “Ghostbusters” and “Terminator 2,” also. The movie I enjoyed the most this summer was “Mad Max: Fury Road,” thanks largely to Charlize Theron. I looked over my work schedule and felt that I never wanted to work again. I was glad that I had next Wednesday off so that I could go to Root Beer Float Day. I wonder if I will see Vicki Liviakis again this year. She put me on television last year, but I never got to see myself. I guess I can’t count on it happening two years in a row. The Star Trek convention in Las Vegas is coming soon, although I won’t be able to attend. I see that the guest list includes William Shatner, Patrick Stewart, George Takei, Kate Mulgrew, Joan Collins, Walter Koenig, and James Darren. I see that as far as the tickets to the event go, the Gold Weekend Admission Package, the Captain’s Chair Admission Package, and even the Copper Weekend Package are all sold out. I would feel kind of like Keri Russell in “Austenland” if I went, having to settle for one of the lesser packages. What is below copper? I guess that everyone is going to miss Leonard Nimoy and Grace Lee Whitney. I think I would like to see Joan Collins. She was in the classic episode “The City on the Edge of Forever,” and “The Wayward Bus” with Jayne Mansfield, and “The Road to Hong Kong” with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. I didn’t see Nichelle Nicols’ name anywhere. She suffered a stroke on June 3. It amazes me that people have so much money to spend on all this Star Trek stuff. I don’t own a Spock costume. I missed the Star Wars convention in April in Anaheim. They’re having one in London next year. The Chicago Beatles Fest is coming on August 14-16, and a three-day pass is $169. It seems like it’s too late for me to make plans to go there. I suppose I’ll be able to do more things after I settle my financial situation. I wonder if it would be worth it to pursue a promotion, or if it will be a trap that will eat up my time and my rest of my life. It would be good to visit Chicago. Some of the people who died on July 16 include Mary Todd Lincoln (1882), Harry Chapin (1981), Herbert von Karajan (1981), Heinrich Böll (1985), Jo Stafford (2008), and Kitty Wells (2012). Today is a birthday for Will Ferrell (48), Phoebe Cates (52), and Stewart Copeland (63). According to the Brandon Brooks Rewind radio segment for July 16, the movie “Topper” with Cary Grant was released in 1937. In 1966, Tommy James and the Shondells reached Number One on the singles chart with “Hanky Panky.” In 1982, “Young Doctors in Love,” starring Sean Young, Harry Dean Stanton, Dabney Coleman, and Patrick Macnee, was released. In 1993, “Free Willy” was released.

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