Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

I had a lot to do when I got to work.  I saw only the last few minutes of the Warriors game.  I didn’t think they were capable of losing by so many points.  I returned home to see “Revenge of the Sith” on Blu-ray.  It was an improvement over the previous DVD edition that I saw, although I found that I was tired of seeing traffic in the sky.  I wouldn’t want to have a flying car if I had to deal with a different type of traffic jam.  I couldn’t stand how Anakin and Obi-Wan were flying through a battle as if it were some kind of joke.  We want heroes we can root for.  There were at least two major problems with this movie.  First, because of the existence of the original trilogy, we know what is going to happen.  It’s like we’re seeing a jigsaw puzzle being put together.  The second is that we had to see Hayden Christensen again.  His appearance in the series is far worse than Jar Jar Binks.  I love Jar Jar Binks in comparison to Hayden Christensen.  His performance is so narrow and flat and unconvincing.  When he tells the council that their actions are outrageous and unfair, I almost laughed out loud.  He’s supposed to be angry, but he can’t express any emotion whatsoever.  When he tells Padmé how much he loves her, I felt like throwing up.  How did George Lucas ever come to choose this guy for such a major part?  It will be a horrible mistake to bring back Hayden Christensen for future episodes.  Somebody has to put a stop to this.  The thought that someone like Hayden Christensen could get someone like Natalie Portman pregnant is incredibly nauseating.  “I’ve disappointed you.  I haven’t been very appreciative of your training.  I have been arrogant and I apologize.  I’ve just been so frustrated with the council.”  You know that the dialogue isn’t up to par when a major character complains about a council.  Is this actually Lucas complaining about something to do with moviemaking?  Lucas should have handed over the writing duties to Lawrence Kasdan.  I had forgotten that Jimmy Smits was in this movie.  I thought that he was a curious choice.  Why was he selected out of all the actors out there?  I wanted to like Samuel L. Jackson more than I did.  He didn’t give us any reasons to pay attention to what he or the council was saying.  A Star Wars movie is highly flawed if we have to care about what some council has to say, anyway.  Yoda made me think of the killer rabbit in that Monty Python movie of years ago.  Christopher Lee was a good actor for the cast, and his appearance reminded me of how sad his recent death was.  Natalie Portman needed to give an Oscar caliber performance to persuade us that she was in love with Hayden Christensen’s Anakin, but she couldn’t do it.  “Hold me, Ani. Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo… where there was nothing but our love.”  “Revenge of the Sith” was a vast improvement over Episode II, but that was because Episode II was horrific.  Looking back on the first three episodes, they combined to cover very little ground.  The three episodes could have been combined to back a single movie.  Episode II in particular seemed like a real throwaway.  Episode I at least shows Anakin as a child.  This movie made me miss the days when science fiction movies featured models instead of CGI ships.  I didn’t see anything like the Millennium Falcon in this episode.  I don’t think Lucas thought enough about Anakin’s character.  He has to be more than just an impatient young man.  There has to be something else that separates him from others.  How is it that an average young person eventually becomes Darth Vader?  Lucas didn’t use his resources very well.  He spent too much on special efforts that looked artificial when he should have put the effort into revising the script.  He should have gone back to Kurosawa for another story.  Maybe it should have been something along the lines of the Three Musketeers.  I think he should have gone back to basics instead of filling the screen with machines and explosions and noise.  With all those years between “Return of the Jedi” and “The Phantom Menace,” you’d think he had all sorts of ideas.  We wanted something like Indiana Jones in space.  Instead, we got Hayden Christensen.  Some of the people who died on June 9 include Charles Dickens (1870), Allen Ludden (1981), Arthur Alexander (1993), and Alexis Smith (1993).  Today is a birthday for Johnny Depp (53) and Michael J. Fox (55).  According to the Brandon Brooks Rewind radio segment for June 9, The Monkees played the Hollywood Bowl five days after their television show won an Emmy award for Best Comedy Show.  In 1978, “The Cat from Outer Space,” starring Ronnie Schell, Ken Berry, Sandy Duncan, Harry Morgan, Roddy McDowall, and McLean Stevenson, was released.  In 1979, the Bee Gees’ “Love You Inside Out” was the nation’s Number One single.  In 1984, the Number One single was Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.”

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