Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I went out to see “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.”  The beginning of it had faint echoes of James Bond and The Wild Bunch.  It was a bank robbery that began with riches and ended with nothing.  It was symbolic of what this series of movies was like.  There was a loud soundtrack and action scenes that certainly felt empty.  It wasn’t quite on the level of “John Carter,” but it was approaching that point.  The young characters who were introduced were not terribly exciting.  I know that I really got tired of their interplay.  If I were still a kid, I would have found Javier Bardem a very scary villain.  The sight of him up close in 3D, however, indicated to us that the use of CGI was excessive.  When the impossible happens so routinely, there is no sense of wonder in it.  It was a bit disturbing to see the CGI used to show a young Johnny Depp, as it was seeing Robert Downey Jr. in “Captain America: Civil Wars” and Kurt Russell in “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.”  It made me think, though, that actresses wouldn’t have to have plastic surgery anymore.  What was revealed about the Geoffrey Rush character was predictable, so I somehow don’t this picture is going to win an Oscar for its screenplay.  The appearance of Paul McCartney just points out one of the bad things about this movie, that it has bits stuffed into it not for creative reasons.  Jack Sparrow is lucky rather than clever.  The last action sequence felt like a mixture of “The Ten Commandments” and Hayao Miyasaki and several Steven Spielberg films.  Most of the movie felt loud and exhausting.  I thought some of the critics were a bit too harsh on the movie because it did have some entertainment value in it.  I didn’t laugh as much as other people in the theatre did.  I was hoping that Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley would give us more than they did to make up for what was lacking in the story.  I thought that people in this country might be getting tired of Johnny Depp.  Internationally, this movie looks like it’s going to rake in big money.  I’m not so eager to see another sequel, though.  I thought back on Marlon Brando in “Mutiny on the Bounty” and Mel Gibson in “The Bounty.”  I miss those days when we saw real ships and real locations in movies.  I thought about what this movie would have been like with Anthony Hopkins in it, but then Hopkins isn’t what he used to be.  I don’t have faith that the next sequel will be any good.  I didn’t want to see Harry again.  I did go to see this movie because I wasn’t anxious to see the Alien movie.  Some of the people who died on May 30 include Milton Bradley (1911), Dooley Wilson (1953), Boris Pasternak (1960), Claude Rains (1967), Sun Ra (1993), Shohei Imamura (2006), and Mark Harris (2007).  Today is a birthday for Wynonna Judd (53) and Tom Morello (53).

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